A few days ago a friend of mine, a blogging friend, commented in a private Facebook group about how a family member of hers was allegedly given ISS (In school suspension) for saying “Bless you” after someone sneezed. That thread has since grown by a few hundred comments as we’ve debated and discussed what may have happened. We’ve talked about free speech, how the world is increasingly growing more and more politically correct, and how teachers have a very tough job. We’ve researched and blogged about it. Some of us have tried to get interviews from the school members involved and others have gone straight to the student it happened to. I’ve personally reached out with Kendra Turner and she gave me permission to share her story.
Here is her story in her own words:
A girl sitting right next me sneezed in class. I said “Bless You!” My teacher, (Name redacted by Editor) asked “Who said that?” I said “me.” She said “Why did you say that?” I said “Because it is courtesy.” She said “Says who?” I said “Says my pastor.” She said “Well we don’t say that in my class.”
I asked her why it was a big deal to her. She yelled at me and said “We will not have Godly speaking in my class!” That is when I stood up and said “My pastor said I have a constitutional right -1st amendment freedom of speech.” She said “Not in my class you don’t.”
I said “I will defend my religion.” She said “You will not in my class because I trump everyone.” Then another student stepped in and said “You don’t over trump God.” So she sent me to the office and the assistants principal said “if I didn’t want to respect my teachers rules then maybe My pastor should teach me because my freedom or speech and religion does not work at their school.
Then they sent me to ISS (in school suspension). After I left the class room all my class mates stood up and defended me the teacher had to call assistants principal to control the class.
My knee-jerk reaction was, “How dare they? This world is so stupid sometimes!” For crying out loud, she didn’t even say “God bless you” which, in my opinion, should absolutely be allowed as well.
I want to say that the teachers had better not flash a dollar bill at the Coke machine because it has the name God on it.
I want to say that the school had better suspend the student who sneezed because a distraction is a distraction. No double standard.
I want to say that that teacher had better not allow students to say Happy St. Patrick’s Day or Merry Christmas.
I want to say that that teacher had better not allow swearing in her classroom either…or sleeping, texting, throwing things, or any other misbehaving {distracting} things to go on.
I wanted to say those things and write a fiery post that lit other’s hearts on fire the way mine was burning. But I didn’t. I wanted to make sure I thought through my position well before writing about such a controversial subject. I’ve been in the crossfire of angry comments before and I only want to make a stand when it’s something I can really stand for.
Can I totally stand behind this girl’s actions? Not entirely. She probably could have handled it better but would I if I were in her shoes? It’s hard to tell.
After reading comments from fellow classmates, talking with Kendra, and reading various articles about Kendra’s teacher it seems certain that this teacher did in fact have a list of words that students weren’t allowed to say. Among “my bad”, “hang out”, “dumb”, “stupid”, “stuff”, was the polite “bless you.” {While we’re at it, what’s wrong with “hang out” too?} In this article, the associate principle, Gardner acknowledges the list and pretty much gives his seal of approval as it’s a “reasonable request.” Oh, and he states that the reason for her ISS was because of what she said and not her attitude {as I previously wondered}.
The facts add up that she was given ISS for that class period for saying “bless you” when a classmate near her sneezed.
It’s automatic for some people! I promise, the other day a friend of mine sneezed and I said, “God bless you, cover your mouth.” Ha! I’m so used to telling my daughter that after she sneezes that I couldn’t help myself. We had a good laugh…unlike Kendra received when she said “bless you” out of habit.
My thoughts {for what they’re worth}:
I’ve never been in a classroom that was so strict that there was “no talking” so I can’t imagine that sort of atmosphere. I’m glad I didn’t have her as a teacher!
While a junior high student, I had quite a few strong religious disagreements with teachers. It seems like Kendra’s teacher was encouraging the dialog so I would have continued it if I was her too…minus the standing up part, I’m far too backward for that.
When situations are heated like that it’s hard for ANYone involved to remember word for word what happened so I don’t blame her but I figure there is some wiggle room in her story.
It seems like the there was wrong on both parts. I’d like for the teacher to keep her job and simply change her banned word policy and for the ISS to be dropped from Kendra’s record. I hope this ends well!
*I’m going to leave the comments open on this but please, please, try and be kind. Attack ideas and not people.*
The teacher’s ideas sound “dumb”, “stupid”, and “stuff”. 😀 As you said, I’m glad she was never my teacher. Restricting non-harmful non-objectionable speech feels wrong.
While I do not say bless you (because it is a superstition and I don’t follow superstitions) I realize that those who do have good intentions and are being polite.
God Bless Kendra for standing up for what she believes in. Sounds to me like the “teacher,” and I use that term lightly, is on a power trip.
Things are getting crazy in middle school. This is crazy that she was given ISS .
There are two sides to every story. Read between the lines of what the school said. This isn’t the first time this child has been in the principal’s office. If she broke the no talking rule, she broke the rule. I really have a hard time believing that she recalls verbatim what the teacher said. There is really no reason to say anything after a person sneezes, other than a superstition that your spirit is leaving the body when you sneeze, and a blessing pulls it back in. Superstitions go against Christian beliefs, so a good Christian shouldn’t say this. She sounds like a kid looking for a fight.
I’m not disagreeing but where did you read that this isn’t the first time she was in the principle’s office?
I thoroughly disagree.”Bless you” is a VERY common POLITE response to someone sneezing and no longer is used as a “superstitious” response or purpose! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with it, from a Christian or Atheists point of view. Though I agree that the student started getting an attitude, that teacher BEGAN with an attitude and was TOTALLY out of line. That teacher needs CLASSES to learn proper TEACHING and COMMUNICATION TECHNIQUES!
Oh jeez. For saying “bless you?” I saw this all the time, it’s not necessarily a religious thing, it’s just common courtesy. I feel like these types of situations are just becoming too ridiculous.
Wow. What else are you supposed to say when someone sneezes lol?
i dunno “gesundheit” or somethin:)
I’m shocked a teacher would take this situation to that level. I’ve taught my toddler to say “bless you.” I can’t imagine being the parent of a kid who receives ISS because he/she said something of the sort.
I think they have taken things so out of hand in schools these days. While I’m not a religious person, I did grow up in the 90s where a moment of silence was observed in schools during tragedy, and we still said the pledge of allegiance. Now, none of those are allowed and apparently it’s cool to suspend kids for offering a courtesy to someone else.
Things are going way to far if a kid gets suspended for saying bless you. Why is everyone so afraid of being politically incorrect.
Bless you!! Lol.
I totally agree!
Totally agree and yes my thoughts exactly that bless you does not belong on the same list as dumb and stupid which are derogatory. To those that said saying bless you is a superstition, that is not true. Saying bless you came from the truth (google it) that when you sneeze your heart can slow and skip a beat so you are blessing the person against a possible ill effect from sneezing. There is no doubt in my mind that Kendra remembered every bit of what was said as it is such a shock that this teacher would say these things. She has a power complex and wants to show she has the power to shut this student down. I do agree she should not have stood up in defiance but other than that she was in the right and a suspension…. Give me a break!
Thank you!
Very well said. My thoughts exactly.
I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in courtesy. While the actual notion of WHY we say bless you has come and gone, the niceness has not. If she didn’t say GOD bless you, then why did the teacher get her panties in a twist? It’s not like she bent a knee and said a prayer. And even if she did, if she wasn’t bothering anyone about it, she should have been let go. Was is a private school?
Wow – I say “Bless you” all the time when people sneeze. I think the teacher was out of line by the way she had it. I’m not sure how I would have handled it if I were the student. It’s really sad what this world is becoming.
I’ve seen a lot of discussion about this in FB groups. I do agree that she should be able to say “Bless You” and it shouldn’t be on the teacher’s banned word list, I think she may have been disrespectful to the teacher in the conversation that followed.
I totally understand separation of church and state. I’m all for it, actually. But this is ridiculous. The history of “bless you” is more superstition than religion. People used to say bless you as a ward against demons, because they thought that sneezing was a sign of a demon trying to possess you. (or something to that effect I beleive) Could the girl have handled it better? Probably not. She’s a teenager. Teenagers have raging hormones. She was also in the right, IMO.
bless you is a common courtesy. It sounds like this teacher is on a power trip and I’m glad this is getting a lot of attention.
It seems people readily take a position against the teacher when all of their information comes almost entirely from the student. This is a very charged situation. As an experienced teacher with several years of substitute teaching under my belt, I would guess that the list has been composed over time in response to things students have said that irritate the teacher or test the “quiet class conditions” the teacher wishes to maintain. I could see smart aleck student taking advantage of another’s sneeze (perhaps some sneezed on purpose) just so they could say a harmless, “Bless you.” The teacher, realizing sarcasm may have thus added “Bless you” to the list. The girl who received the ISS may have been defending God or religion, but the teacher likely was trying to maintain her authority. Argument ensued and the teacher, fearing she may appear weak, stuck to her guns.
Admittedly, it’s sad when a teacher student relationship enters into the kind of situation where such a list need be maintained, but it happens.
Two other points: 1) one comment failed to understand the problem with “hang out”- some students in some areas use the term with innuendo that is not appropriate for a classroom. Once that kind of kind of thing starts, it’s difficult to snuff it out. 2) Did God or religion really need defending here? And does our freedom of speech really have precedence over a set of rules in such specific circumstances as a classroom or theater? Christians really can do better, can they not?
BTW, as a teacher, I have a very loud classroom, respect the individual thoughts and opinions of my students and promote a supportive community environment. My students have no idea what I believe though they’ve heard me provide what I consider the best arguments for both sides of any given issue.
I think it’s crazy! I love hearing cashiers and other people tell me to have a blessed day, makes me feel good. It’s even crazier that the student was saying it to someone who sneezed. Your heart stops for a quick second when you sneeze, at least that’s what I’ve heard. That’s why the “bless you” started. What’s this country coming to?
This is an interesting situation. I am a Christian person and trained as an attorney. This situation raised a lot of issues that will be discussed and litigated for a long time into the future.
I’m proud of her for standing up for herself. I’m glad this story is getting the traction it deserves and I hope that teacher learns her “power” reaches only so far.
This is absolutely ridiculous. There is so many things wrong with this world and too punish a student for being courteous shows you where we are headed. It’s no wonder so many parents now homeschool.
School has become TOO restrictive. Are we educating robots or kids? I also agree that she didn’t respect authority in the after math and had she not had the confrontation would it have ended with a we don’t say that rather than ISS. I don’t know. It’s silly and stupid to have a list of normal words that are not able to say and the teacher responded in a less than mature fashion as did the assistant principal.
It seems that a lot of people like to jump on a bandwagon before hearing the whole story (by agreeing or disagreeing with what happened). So since I don’t know the whole story I’m not sure how to react, but I will say it seems silly on both ends!
Wow, that’s really extreme. I don’t agree with “bless you” not being allowed, though I do wonder if maybe it wouldn’t have escalated had the student handled it differently. I’m not criticizing her- I do understand standing up for what you believe in, but it might not have gotten to that point had she responded differently.
Attitude… She defended her right to speak. So tired of the political correct. The teacher needs to look at the words I think.
I think schools are taking things too far. Just this morning I was reading a story about a kid who was kicked out of school because he wrote a story about killing a dinosaur. What sort of world do we live in where a creative writing assignment doesn’t allow the student to be creative?
I was brought up to say Bless You when someone sneezes. Stuff like this is why we decided to home school our son. Good for her for standing up for her beliefs.
I remember classrooms where we couldn’t say A WORD without being warned and then written up. It wouldn’t have mattered what we said, we would have been in trouble. I hope the teacher keeps her job.
What a horrible chain reaction of events. I’m so glad the girl stood up for what she believed in
I’ve always said it, even to strangers. I feel guilty if someone sneezes and I don’t say it. This world…. sometimes I just throw my hands in the air and give up.
This is the prime example of the reason I hate the school system. Teachers want everyone to be the same – I mean we’re limiting their speech now?! What happened to encouraging free thinkers.
nothing surprises me any more. Crazy. I am proud of her for standing up.
I find this totally crazy that a student would be suspended over saying bless you. Whats going to be next?
I had to read that twice. How ridiculous! For many people, even those who aren’t religious, say “bless you”!
I honestly felt that was overkill. To be completely honest I’m not really very religious. But, when someone sneezes I say “Bless You.” It is just something that I’ve always said/done. I wouldn’t even know what to say in that situation without those words. Nothing?
The entire thing just baffles me because she didn’t say “God Bless You”, just… bless you. So TECHNICALLY she didn’t bring religion into it at all since to my understanding even saying “bless you” is wrong because that’s saying that YOU are blessing the person. But regardless, even if she did say God bless you,the entire thing is stupid. I cannot believe even the school staff couldn’t understand where the student was coming from.
I hope the teacher understands. I don’t wish she would get fired because that’s just silly and mean but she needs to understand that she cannot make “rules” like that.
I applaud and admire Kendra for standing up for her beliefs. Sounds like her preacher is a smart man.
Oh wow! Suspended for saying ‘Bless You’…hmmm…it’s sad that our world has come to this.
People now a days are crazy, sue happy, and righteous. The fact that someone would get suspended for something like this is ridiculous Sounds like the teacher can’t see the forest through the trees
Overkill maybe but I think a lot of things aren’t answered here. Like why was she suspended for being disruptive in class? Seems an awful lot like she wanted to prove her point, she’s free to say whatever she wants but she’s not free to disturb other children form learning.
May we point out that the student insisted on bringing up God in the classroom, which would be disruptive to the classroom environment, since there would clearly be a variety of religious opinions in one public classroom.
“I want God to be able to be talked about in school. I want them to realize that God is in control and they’re not.”
http://www.stategazette.com/story/2110930.html
The school classroom is not the time and place to be constantly talking about God. It appears quite clear this young lady was establishing an adversarial relationship with the teacher over her injecting religious beliefs where they shouldn’t be injected.
This is just ridiculous! I feel like the teacher should be focusing on more important issues rather than this one!
That teacher should be more concerned with teaching and less about certain words that she deems inappropriate.
I think this is sick. What is the world we live in coming too?
Do you realize that this story made it worldwide? I live in Israel and my Facebook feed had comments about it. I don’t see anything wrong with ‘bless you’. I’m not religious in the least and I say that out of politeness to someone who sneezes – it’s already commonplace practice and goes beyond the confines of religion, even if it was inspired by it.
Wow! That’s crazy! I guess that just shows you the power of social media.
I’m amazed that something like this can really happen. I’m sorry this young lady had to experience such stupidity at an early age, yet I hope she can learn from the experience, especially the globalism of the issues.
I am not a Christian but thought this was the polite answer to sneezing as we in German say Gesundheit???