I wish I could tell you that it’s always been my dream to be a homemaker and (gasp) a homeschooling mom. . . but the truth is that if you would have told me even 5 years ago that I would be happy as a stay at home mom I would have laughed in your face.
I had my first child at 18 and as a result I fought against motherhood and domesticity that came along with it being my “identity.” I struggled for years with having to prove that I was more. That I was smart, capable. Not “just” a mom.
I worked hard; I obtained first my BA then, a graduate degree and a school counseling credential. I had plans to work full-time and believed it was what God wanted for me. I wanted to make a difference and believed that difference was going to happen outside of my home.
Keeping my home in order was done out of necessity not joy.
I had to keep my eye on the prize. And so I was in graduate school pregnant with my third child and then back to get my credential right after I have my fourth.
I meant business. Literally, I felt that the more experience and education I received the better. My identity was more about who I needed to be professionally rather than who I was as a mom.
The irony was that as I was being trained to be there for other people’s children I was willingly leaving my own. . .
I believed that being a mom was a noble thing but I placed my true value in my career and all of the other “important” things I needed to do.
I was sure I would always work outside of the home and be OK with other people watching my kids. I believed that I lacked the patience to be home all day and that I “needed” to do other work as part of my calling. I needed to be around other adults, I needed to be challenged and to grow.
The first problem that came up in my “plan” was a lack of funding for counseling programs which meant jobs were scarce and so I could only part-time position. The truth is that I only made enough to cover child care so essentially I was working so I could have something to add to my resume but paying for someone else to watch my kids. I started to question if it was worth it. . .
Then my tween son started getting into trouble and I was forced to be home. We were out of options for him and had to get him out of his school situation. The only thing left to do was try to homeschool him. So for the first time I had to seriously consider my life as a homemaker AND a home educator.
In truth I resisted at first, convinced that being at home would only be temporary but as I started praying for direction, for peace and patience and that God would change ME; He did.
He changed my heart and He gave me not only a greater capacity for love and patience with my children but a passion for my home. He gave me a desire to create a home that would be a sanctuary for my children and husband.
He opened my eyes to the truth that the greatest investment I could make in the future was how I raised my children. And that no professional accomplishment would ever.
Truly He gave me a love for my life as a homemaker.
I don’t do it perfectly. I’m not naturally gifted at organization nor do I excel at being a domestic diva. But I feel like I’m a queen responsible for overseeing my own little castle.
And although now, I do work part-time outside of the home, I see it as an extension of who I am and NOT as a defining factor. My perspective has changed in that I now see my identity as who I am in Christ; everything else is just stuff I do.
He made me a mom and a wife. He gave me the opportunity to be a good steward of these beautiful gifts and I count it an honor to be home with them.
What a sweet post!!! I am a stay at home mom (well , work at home mom!) and no it is not easy at all, but I would much rather be able to be there for my kids than be somewhere else. I am VERY thankful I am able to stay home with my babies, because I know that for some, it is not an option.
What an honest and heartwarming post. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, you have to pick the path that’s right for you. It sounds like both paths have been the best fit for you at different times in your life.
I love this post! I always thought I wanted to work outside the home when I was at home, but after getting out of the house, I found my experience was much like yours. It’s amazing what God does in our hearts.
Shasta, thanks so much for stopping by. It’s really is amazing what God can do in our hearts when we let Him in, right?
I think the most important thing is to be happy, whether that’s while you work or stay home. I’m glad you found happiness in staying home & working part-time!
I am a true workaholic and while I love what I do, there are some days I wish I could stay home and spend time on what really matters in life. Great post.
I can totally relate to this, I used to call myself an “accidental mommy” because with an Architecture degree and a license to practice, I had dreams of where my career would take me. After the birth of my 2nd child, I decided to take some time off to stay home and 7 years later and I can’t envision a better purpose for my life than being here with them.
Kimberly, I love that, “accidental mommy”. It is such a blessing to be able to be home, isn’t it?
What a sweet post. I have taken both paths of a mom who works outside of the home and now a work at home mom. I am so thankful that I have been able to choose the options best for my family.
Mellisa, thank you for your comment, so glad you have had to opportunity to do what’s best for your family.
I have always wanted to be a mother. I had my first son at 18 too. While I always wanted to be a mom, I never woke up and said one day “I want to be a full-time housekeeper.” Let’s face it though, that is what a mom is. I definitely never saw myself homeschooling all four boys and taking them on long extended road trips alone, but I do that too now. I have come to love it though, and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kathleen, I know we end up doing things we would have never imagined right? And yet I’ve found those are the times I learn most about myself and what I’m capable of doing.
Ha, I love this! I know bother sides of the coin.
Thank you for your comment. Glad you could relate 🙂
Great message! We must accept that we can’t do everything, and appreciate what we can. 🙂
So true Jennifer!
This is a great post! I think we’ve all felt this way at one time or another. Sometimes it feels like what we’re doing isn’t very important but really it’s one of the most important jobs God has given us. 🙂