Things No One Tells You About Being a Mom

I’ve teamed up with Poise as part of the Mom It Forward Blogger Network to tell you the truth about being a mom.

Being a Mom

Babies are marvelous aren’t they?  They come into our lives smelling sweetly like only a baby can smell, with soft skin, and tiny fingers.  They are expert cuddlers from the get-go and just as fast they have you wrapped around their finger.  No matter how many parenting books you’ve read, kid’s you’ve babysat, or birth stories you’ve watched, nothing will prepare you for the journey that is motherhood.

Babies are completely worth it but there are several things that no one tells you about motherhood beforehand.  I’ve rounded up a group of mama friends to give you the low-down on embarrassing mom moments no one ever warns you about.  We share these frank experiences, or words of wisdom, to help you to embrace motherhood with a bit more knowledge and confidence.

Names have been changed to protect the embarrassed. 🙂

Courtney: I pee on myself every time I sneeze, laugh, or cough… It’s horrible.

Bethany: My body odor changed.  Like after a workout, I’ll never be able to do anything but immediately shower.

Carrie: Baby happened to prefer the boob that was naturally larger anyways. Now I have huge boob and little boob.

Jenn: Yep, saggy boobs, floppy boobs, mushy boobs…sense a theme here? Lol feet grew a tiny bit with each pregnancy too so I’m now a size 9 instead of an 8. Ummmmm premature balding thanks to hormones….. Definitely cannot run or workout without peeing first haha

Judy: Nursing is a nightmare for the first few months, because my body thinks I have triplets. All I have to do is bend over, and it starts coming!. I remember just standing there in shock, watching this 3-foot spray coming out of me, while my husband just stood there and laughed.

Jenny:  I get SO HOT so easily now. (Not fun when you live in the south and most of the summer is 100* and 100% humidity) I sweat a lot more too and the odor. 🙁 I’m so embarrassed.  Also, I can’t start dishes or anything having to do with water until I go to the bathroom first. 😬

Ashley: Um… Wardrobe malfunctions due to toddlers performing alligator death rolls to escape.

Marcy: I have the inability to hold my pee sometimes.  There are times that I end up cleaning the bathroom floor after a failed attempt to get my pants down fast enough.

Sarah:  Cabin pressure mixed with full boobs equals milk facial for baby. Sorry baby…

Tiffany:  I second the squishy boob comment not to sound weird but I had really great boobs before I got pregnant. Didn’t really realize they’d get so…floppy… Lol

Alexia: with the saggy boobs..and hair loss!! If my hair doesn’t stop falling out, I’m gonna need some rogain soon!!  Oh and the trend where girls shave the side of their heads I’ve achieved that naturally, thank you hormones.

Anne: My boobs. I mean after #3 they just weren’t even close to the same.

Stephanie:  Mommy brain is a real thing! Hubby makes me close my eyes sometimes just to finish a sentence! And one time, I was with a couple of my close guy friends and one of them had to tell me I was leaking through my shirt…

Kristen: This isn’t really a body thing per se, but my child pulled my skirt down to my ankles in front of a window at a restaurant downtown during lunch hour.  Also my dad was there.

Lauren:  This one stretch mark on my boob is perfectly placed so a big blue vein shows through. It looks really funny lol.

Stacie:  My boobs don’t hang evenly. Or they aren’t the same size, not sure which it is.  It started during pregnancy! I need to find some thicker bras now or I’m always wearing patterned shirts to help camouflage the problem!

Ashli:  Jumping jacks are not the best form of exercise any more, unless you enjoy seeing yourself on every jumping Jack.

Catherine: The jiggling. When I jog, it sounds like my body is giving me a standing ovation…..

Brittany: Pretty sure I thought I had regained decent bladder control at 3 months PP but the trampoline park with my husband’s work proved me wrong…

Carla:  Awful hair postpartum! It fell out (as it’s supposed to) but I have curly hair and the new hair growing in at my part is an inch long and always frizzy! Not even hair spray can tame that beast!

Jessica: Feeling like you have an internal canyon just above your belly button from where your abs are trying to come back together.

Abigail: Oh, yeah, Jessica, the way your abs look when you try to do a sit-up. It freaked me out the first time I saw it! My Dr. said he had a patient who was a fitness trainer who tried to sue him because of that!

Crystal:  The loss of the ability to hold my flatulence. Working out, going to the park, making dinner… Seriously, I just cannot control it.

Heather:  The feeling that your insides are going to fall out with every step for the first…oh…2-3 months!  I was anxious to get back to running and when I did (after my 6-wk checkup), I almost looked behind me to be sure I hadn’t left my uterus a few steps back…

Meredith:  Finishing coaching a volleyball game only look down and find 2 ginormous wet circles on each boob. Lovely. Also the hair regrowth that sticks up straight and NOTHING will keep it down.

Hillary:  The fact that I just found a ginormous chunk of pizza that had been in my hair for 3 hours and I had no clue. Also, The faint smell of ketchup that plagues you all day until bed time when you realize that your toddler smeared ketchup across your chest at lunch.

There you have it!  Real life accounts from real moms.  Which was your favorite?

standing ovation

This quote from Catherine was my favorite! It’s also my least favorite because it’s so true!

I noticed a theme throughout these, did you?  Boobs and pee.  I have no advice to help you get your pre-baby boobs back but at least there are products out there to help you with the pee.  Kegels are great but while you’re working those muscles back into shape you might want to look into a product that has you covered. The Poise brand teamed up with Brooke Burke-Charvet to start a dialogue about light bladder leakage (LBL) and to empower women to seize their Poise moment.  That moment being the point where they stop letting leaks interrupt their lives and reach for products, like Poise Thin-Shape Light Absorbency pads.  The new Poise Thin-Shape Light Absorbency pads are the thinnest pads for LBL.  They offer 3-in-1 protection, are designed to move with you and are 40% thinner than the original, but they stay 3 times dryer.  If you’re part of the 1 in 3 women who suffer from LBL, visit Poise.com to request a free sample and learn more about LBL.  For instance, did you know that there are more people with bladder leakage in their 20’s than in their 80’s?  Before having kids I would have never believed it!

Motherhood is a journey and as anyone who has ever been on a road trip will attest, it’s more fun with friends.  The best advice I can offer new moms is to befriend other moms, especially veteran moms.  You need someone who understands you and someone that will pick out that food that’s been in your hair all day.

About Ashley

Ashley is very happily married and the mother to a beautiful little girl and handsome little boy. She is the main voice behind Embracing Homemaking.

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